killthefetus

killthefetus @ 2005-04-15T15:00:00

2005-04-15T20:05:41Z

Kevin.

What the fuck do you want for your party?? You need to tell me you fuckin' ass compacter.

killthefetus @ 2004-09-25T23:33:00

2004-09-26T04:35:19Z

I have still yet to smoke a "port" so eat pigshit.

killthefetus @ 2004-09-20T22:28:00

2004-09-21T03:34:18Z

Im writing in my diary, holy shit. I should throw a party...

Watched Hannah today for a while. 2 year olds are tiring, seriously, she didnt even take a nap. I wanted to implode. Then I hung with Scabz and Wonko and bullshitted.

Yesterday was insane, I hung out with Kevin, Aaron, Dan, Andy, Angela, Melissa, and Sean. Some people I havent hungout with/seen for a while. It was good though, Kevin only offered me a smoke 2 times. (He's getting forgetful in his old age) Then we spun each other on this weird...spinny...thing.

I dont know what else to say. Im tired.

If I were Santa Clause

2004-07-23T23:34:52Z

If I was a rich man, I'd buy you some shoes
Tall boots for all the dirt you walk through
What would that do? Enable you to deal
Without schooling you on how to touch what's real
And if I was a smart man, I'd tell you everything that I knew
And give it to you every time you need a talking to
But what would that do? Teach you my guidelines
So you can be a cheerleader at your game on the sidelines
And if I was a driver, I'd keep my headlights on
To see the difference between right and wrong
I'd wear my seatbelt even when I'm in park
Cause I don't trust the other fools that cruise through these parts
And if I was a better cook, I'd hook up a feast
Set a table full of food for the children to eat
I encourage the nourishment so we can breathe
With the knowledge that we got something accomplished

And if I was Santa Claus, I'd fight for the cause
Wouldn't expect nothing in return
I'd give you everything you want, I'd be everything you need
So you can take my hand and I can take the lead

And if I was an honest man
I would stop writing songs
I'd break for a nervous breakdown for breakfast
Tell everyone I knew to stay away from making music
It ain't nothing but a confusing mess (confusing mess)
And if I was you, I wouldn't hear a word I said
Wouldn't trust nothing to start it up inside my head
I'd make a conscious effort to live instead
Of trying to kill the monsters that reside underneath the bed
And if I was a hurt man
I'd find a way to put my faith
Into a woman that could take me from today, maybe
I need somebody that could save me
From the parts of myself that keep making me crazy
And if I was a wise man
I'd climb to the top of the mountain peak
To think about strength versus weakness
I'd find a point that rests a couple of feet above your head
And figure out how I could try to help you reach it
(Ho ho ho)
And if I did have a choice
I'd never want to live forever
Just let me have a voice so I can make my points
I can't imagine running a race with no finish line
Just let me keep my pace and make to most of my time
I love giving but I'm bad at receiving
The truth is, I'd prefer to be the one bleeding
But I'm a paranoid that stays between play and work
Cautious and aware, 'cause I'm afraid of being hurt
Which brings me to the issue
And that would be this:
How often must I ask myself why I exist?
I feel like a freak, this world is a circus
Just trying to find myself as well as my purpose

And if I was Santa Claus, I'd fight for the cause
Wouldn't expect nothing in return
I'd give you everything you want, I'd be everything you need
And you can take my hand and I can take the lead

I got nothing but gifts
Keep it up in my wits
Got me drunk on the fifth
And now we're stuck in a ditch
And as dumb as it gets
I'mma run you some fibs
I wanna touch your lips
I wanna rub your hips
Put a glove on the fist
For the love that exists
We'll keep bumping the hits
To get my bucket of chips
From the Bloods and the Crips
To the skateboarding chicks
Put the Atmosphere on your Christmas wishlist
Put the Atmosphere on your Christmas wishlist
(Ho ho ho ho)

-Atmosphere-

killthefetus @ 2004-07-01T16:49:00

2004-07-01T22:13:11Z

MonOXidEs SeXY: hey i had a dream and u were in it
Darkjuggla: =-O
Darkjuggla: Is it G-Rated?
Darkjuggla: The 'G' is for gangsta

I am so fucking bored...and my ankle hurts. It feels like someone peeled the skin back and shat on the muscle.

OD

2004-06-23T07:47:46Z

If I dont get my fuckin' OD account back soon im going to pull an R. Kelly and piss on every one of those fuckers.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKERS.

woman with the tattooed hands

2004-06-18T21:49:00Z

I used to know this woman who had the most beautiful
tattooes on the top sides of both of her hands
She was forty-three years old and as far as I know
had never yet been with a man
It's not that she wasn't attractive;
she was beautiful, but it was the way that she interacted
She was aggresively passive to the point where she
would've intimidated any mitt that ever tried to catch it
on the right hand she had a tattooe of a nude girl
she claimed it is what God resembled
but on the left she had a mirrored image of the same female
and this one she explained looked like the devil
I remember once watching her touch her own breasts
how the tattooes smiled as they stared down her stomach
as if anticipating when they'd be allowed to caress
the sweet flower that they both seemed too hungry (sweet flower)
Now maybe I was high but it felt so right
heaven and hell both take to this woman's womb
It didn't make sense how she could commence
touching herself with me wide awake in the same room
but if I've learned anything in my years (my years)
I learned I no longer believe in surprise (in surprise)
but what happened next damn near stold my tears
the tattooes came alive right in front of my eyes
they both slowly stood up and climbed off her hands
and showed me why she never took some time with a man
they climbed deep inside of this woman's garden
she closed her eyes and she gently bit her bottom lip
I stepped I left and I don't regret leaving
and I'd never forget all the things I saw that evening
a glimpse of religion a piece of coming closer
to understanding more about what intrigues me most
I didn't get turned on I just got turned
I wasn't as aroused as I was concerned
for each one of em I've hurt
and every time I've been burned
I've got a lot to teach but even more to learn
so now I keep my eyes open hoping to take in all I can
about women taking in all she can
And for as long as I breathe I'll save receipt in my memory
for that woman with the tattooed hands

(Chorus: repeat 5x till song fades)
There's good and evil in each individual fire
Identifies needs and feeds our desire
As long as we keep our spirit inspired
She can bite her bottom lip all she wants

Atmosphere

Simplicity

2004-06-16T20:04:50Z

Ive been down this road more times then I can count
Overwhelmed by temptations, its always more then a thought
So what am I to do? What am I to say?
Every action Ive made has only prompted you to change
And who am I to bend you and mold you?
Im just simple man, wearing a pair of simple shoes.

-KtF-

I was going to make it longer but I decided against it. I really like the way this one turned out. Very "spur of the moment" and sometimes thats the best kind of poem. A style that I dont do often enough.

Fuck David Hasslehoff

2004-06-16T07:33:41Z

The rap industry has sunk to a new low. David Hasslehoff is realeasing a rap cd sometime this year. His new single is "Do the Pingu"

Graduate

2004-06-02T14:10:23Z

Wow. I never thought this day would come, not that it has I dont want it to end. I really enjoyed my high school "career" for the most part...Damn, the day is here and it still hasnt sunk in yet. I think the part im going to miss the most would have to be all the people. Granted my graduating class wasnt the best to graduate with, mostly filled with shallow people and pot heads. But it was still a good run while it lasted.

I think the worst part is, that I actually have to get a job now :( I am really not looking forward to that. Im thinking maybe Pizza Factory, or Menards. Any suggestions? Maybe I could sell my body to lonely computer nerdettes. Maybe not...Fuck this im out.

Empty

2004-05-25T18:42:03Z

GOOOOD GOD IM SO FUCKING BORED.

How I loathe school.

School is so boring these last few days, and the senior picnic sucked because it was raining like hell.

Im pissed. Mind relapse should be out by now. Im not gonna be able to whore it out at school :(

Every dog has its day

2004-05-18T14:17:25Z

Today is going all right. Not spectacular but not horrible. And im really happy for that, because I have been pretty down the last week or so. I wish I could remember what spawned said bad mood, but Im drawing a blank. I suppose it all started with my B-day. I hate my birthday because my Grandpa died on it in 1995, So it always brings up sad memories. :(

Other then that it was the fact that I realized how Im growing older and still have yet to accomplish anything of greatness. Blah, enough of that.

I have to look forward to the concerts I want to go to. Dark lotus and Eyedea & Abilities are hitting up these lovely Twin Cities. (W00t w00t)

My friend Stacey just broke up with her B/F and she's taking it really hard. I wish she would realize that her ex was a twat and deserves to choke on a (Insert random object here). Treating people like shit is a horrible thing to do, especially when those people really care about you. I should kill him...

Im breaking out like a bad rash.

Fred Durst is a douche

2004-05-10T16:15:51Z

I cant believe this fucker has a xanga account (Another journal page) Heres the link to it.

http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=americanalien

Stifled

2004-05-07T17:33:27Z

Im gonna tear you down gonna eat you alive
break down the barriers to see whats on your insides
Is it blood? are you another human machine

The break down of the innocent hearts
one single ruler defining the lines
that determine where we will all start
where will you be when the apocolypse comes
unfufilled whispers of forgotten echos
remind me of the time when i was so numb
so alone in the world chained to the earth
couldnt break the bonds that grow stronger from the hurt

Human machine your a fuckin human disease
pleading for your life so pretty on your knee's
this is how it shoulda been, from the beginning
admist all the stabs of distrust and your sinning

Seperate the lines of church and state
cant quite comprehend cuz i cant quite relate

I dont update often...

2004-05-07T17:21:09Z

Nearly as often as I would like too, this may change but it likely wont.

Alice

2004-03-28T01:55:12Z

Im actually really excited about doing this concept album. The premis: Alice in wonderland. Sadly its based off of McGee's Alice, but its still a cool idea to put forth musically. My bud Rae is doing up some fancy pictures for the album. Scabz and I have started collaberating on the tracks, and its gonna be good. Real good.

killthefetus @ 2004-03-20T11:23:00

2004-03-20T17:25:56Z

Bored so im throwin up some lyrics of:
Paris "what would you do?"

I see a message from the government, like every day
I watch it, and listen, and call 'em all suckas
They warnin' me about Osama or whatever
Picture me buyin' this scam I said never

You in tune to a Hard Truth Soldier spittin
I stay committed gives a fuck to die or lose commission
It's all a part of fightin' devil state mind control
And all about the battle for your body mind and soul

And now I'm hopin' you don't close ya mind - so they shape ya
Don't forget they made us slaves, gave us AIDS and raped us
Another Bush season mean another war for profit
All in secret so the public never think to stop it
The illuminati triple 6 all connected
Stolen votes they control the race and take elections
It's the Skull and Bones Freemason kill committee
See the Dragon gettin' shittier in every city

What would you do if you
knew all of the things we know
Would you stand up for truth
Or would you turn away too?

And then what if you saw
All of the things that's wrong
Would you stand tall and strong?
Or would you turn and walk away..

Now ask yourself who's the one with the most to gain (Bush)
'Fore 911 motherfuckas couldn't stand his name (Bush)
Now even niggas waivin' flags like they lost they mind
Everybody got opinions but don't know the time

'Cause America's been took - it's plain to see
The oldest trick in the book is MAKE an enemy
Of phony evil so the government can do it's dirt
And take away ya freedom lock and load, beat and search

Ain't nothin' changed but more colored people locked in prison
These pigs still beat us but it seem we forgettin
But I remember 'fore Septmember how these devils do it
Fuck Guliani ask Diallo how he doin

We in the streets holla “jail to the thief” - followv Fuck wavin' flags bring these dragons to they knees
Oil blood money make these killers ride cold
Suspicious suicides people dyin' never told

It's all a part of playin' God so ya think we need 'em
While Bin Ashcroft take away ya rights to freedom
Bear witness to the sickness of these dictators
Hope you understand the time brother cause it's major

What would you do if you
knew all of the things we know
Would you stand up for truth
Or would you turn away too?

And then what if you saw
All of the things that's wrong
Would you stand tall and strong?
Or would you turn and walk away..

So now you askin why my records always come the same
Keep it real, ain't no fillers, motherfuck a blingin
Mine eyes seen the gory of the coming of the beast
So every story every word I'm sayin' “Fuck Peace”

See you could witness the illuminati bodycount
Don't be surprised these is devils that I'm talkin' bout
You think a couple thousand lives mean shit to killers?
Nigga I swear to God we the ones - ain't no villans

Or any other word they think to demonize a country
Ain't no terror threat unless approval ratings slumpin
So I'ma say it for the record we the ones that planned it
Ain't no other country took a part or had they hand in

Just a way to keep ya scary so you think you need 'em
Praisin' Bush while that killer take away ya freedom
How many of us got discovered but ignore the symptoms?
Niggas talkin' loud but ain't nobody sayin' shit

And with the 4th Amendment gone eyes are on the 1st
That's why I'm spittin' cyanide each and every verse
I see the Carlyle group and Harris Bank Accounts
I see 'em plead the 5th each and every session now

And while Reichstag burns see the public buy itv I see the profilin' see the media's compliance
War is good for business see the vicious make a savior
Hope you understand the time brother cause it's major

What would you do if you
knew all of the things we know
Would you stand up for truth
Or would you turn away too?

And then what if you saw
All of the things that's wrong
Would you stand tall and strong?
Or would you turn and walk away..

Dead man walking

2004-03-20T16:45:53Z

So im sitting at Rick's and i see that PDM released a new song. So kick Wonko out of the computer chair and get to downloadin. I cant wait for "self mutilation", its gonna be wickeder then hells pit. and it comes out in a few weeks, along with the new lotus cd. I need money, lots and lots of money.

killthefetus @ 2004-02-22T00:04:00

2004-02-22T06:14:06Z

Everyday I wake up and it’s the same fucking thing
Same friends same dreams same bullshit routines
I cant change a mother fucking thing in my life
If I could you think Id be living under the raining knives?

Everyday I wake up and I feel the same
Almost as if tommorow never came
Every day I wake up feeling desecrated
Trapped in a lie that only I have perpetually created

Welcome to America

2004-02-11T03:35:12Z

Welcome to america the land of the free
influenced by racism and corrupted by greed
Politicians bustin nuts in the oval office
Sexual taboo's have no place in politics
Welcome to the place of freedom
of trainquility and expression
be careful dont express to much
or you might be subject to interrogation
Freedom of Religion and freedom of speech
but all the mormons in the south
wanna ban us for the lyrics we preach
America's war on terror the war on drugs
the war on aids is like the war on love
then you got society the purest of shit
everyone stuck on there own fuckin arrogance
The united states is united by hypocrits